REFLECTION: no longer a child

As I was doing my usual thing at work, my boss made a remark about one of the students that no matter how many times he told the kid to focus, the kid obviously didn't listen and thus got poor results on his mock test.  That made me think of how my parents would yell at me for spending way too much time on the internet till I went to college.  Then I came to a sudden realization that I am no longer a child.  Even though I may behave like one sometimes (who knows, maybe all the time), what made me realize that I'm now an adult was the fact that my parents don't yell at me anymore.  After college, everything became different; I was now free from my parents' (mostly my mom's) wrath.

For some reason, though, I'm feeling antsy about this.  I feel uncomfortable that my life can be as free as I want it to be, because all these years I've been watched, observed, and criticized, but now I have only myself to rely on for feedback, which is the worst kind.  As much as I hated feedback on how to live my life, I miss it.  Who knows where I would end up if I were to lead my own life?  I'm not totally confident that things will work out now that I'm in control, because I know I need someone to control me.

And then comes hope.  Yes, I'm insecure, and as odd as this may sound, I'm thankful that I am, because there is someone that I can trust and rely on to control my life.  Now that I'm out of my parents' hands, I am transferred over to the One that is more fatherly and motherly.  I may be an adult in this world, but the fact that I'm His child will never change.  He'll always have my back when I'm falling, just as a father would carry a toddler into his arms when the toddler falls backwards from trying to walk forward.